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miércoles, 28 de abril de 2021



I wish you have been doing well
I am sure that though.

It is just a way to answer myself
like I would  talking in this instant with you, 
Is around  11:13 pm 
this April Tuesday 27.
I am leaning over my bed 
My fingers touching this pad 
to write electronically this text.
If you  are wonder if I am okay, 
I am very good!
Or I pretend to be okay.

I guess I have been understanding 
that in everything  we do is involve an act of decision 
For some of us ease , 
for others are really hard, 
for me  despite to be  aware of the circumstances 
I continue fighting to  cope myself , 
I am really a weak man, 
sometimes I hate myself, 
other I also hate  you too, 
with love, without a reason, 
as a crazy man, 
with an awakening  of controversial inner ,  
is always an  controversial feeling 
when we focus on ourselves, 
specially when we don’t wanted to forgot, 
or  at least to try to live, 
lacking of that we love to death.

you know why? 
And I am sure about it, 
I have not taking serious to have God in my life , 
and is a double mistake to knowing something and not do it.

I accept my guilty.

Believe me ""  is hard for me, 
even when I see the silence 
or could be a indifference 
or an act of  ignore me 
I want to think you really are get in serious relationship with God,
also  dedicate your life to your husband ,
As a wife is a absolutely a responsibility,  
I know also,
  you keep extremely busy;  
even more you won’t be able to read this really well at all.

But wherever would be the motive  
I feel proud of you, I really admire you. 
I want to have that character 
that make people strong in all stages of  the life.
This long text as a testament,  
is my way to at least to be plain, 
the way to empty out my soul, 
from a few things that they overflow with impetus force , 
every day, love, hate, desire, madness,
longing, deception, craving to see you again, 
knowing that will be impossible 
or something that we never have the same meaning , 
being unnecessary to aim.

With this I want you know , 
the eternal moment always live 
without expire date for it, into me;
crazy eh?!

I always love you ¡forever! 

every single day, 
you are my favorite elixir 
pouring down inside my soul, 
the main reason that pops up 
in the exactly moment 
when the somnolence left my brain,
throughout the day you go always with me ,  
my god know the sound of your name pretty well,  
would be a sin named you,
without feel it on my beaten heart. 

I know we are so distant, 
more if we get together, 
because the solely is not an event 
but an some cases 
a way to live among others without to be understood,
I don’t pretend to be understand, though.

But yes , I love you, 
and I am  happy not because I have everything 
but because I do not have nothing to lose.

Aunque algunas veces

Tengo miedo a ser feliz

Por solo entonces 

Solo entonces 

Se siente en plena carne la tristeza  

You probably will see a few writings from me 
in a certain dates,  
if I get the courage to do,  no needs to be answered.

And is around 12: 27 pm,  this Tuesday, 
and as a nocturnal bird, 
shaking its wings,
I  deploy my arms  and my fists , 
because not just in a victory signal 
we rise up out hands 
but in signal of worship as well.


Autor:Hilario esteban Lopez©

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